How to Stop Caring What Your Audience Thinks and Speak With Purpose

Do you worry the audience will boo you, laugh at you, or stare in silence with their arms crossed, clearly unimpressed? Do you imagine them thinking, “Who is this person?”, “They are terrible”, or “What a waste of time”?

Or maybe your fear goes inward:

• What if I forget my words?

• What if my body betrays me?

• What if I look like a complete fool?

These are common fears. But here is the part that might sting: your fear comes from your ego. You have forgotten why you are on stage in the first place. Public speaking gets easier when you stop making it about you.

Public Speaking Is Not a Popularity Contest

The audience is not there to like you. They might like you as a byproduct of your performance, but even then, they do not like you as a person. They like:

• the ideas you expressed

• the emotions those ideas created in them

• the value they received

That distinction matters. You are not the show. You are the channel through which the show happens.

Your Purpose on Stage

Your first step to overcoming the fear of public speaking is understanding your purpose. You are there to honor a message and deliver it to an audience. You are the messenger, not the point. When you do this well, the message flows through you. When the message lands, you have succeeded.

This is not easy work. Actors, comedians, teachers, speakers, and performers spend their entire lives refining this skill. They learn to communicate different messages in different ways, but they are always doing the same job: Become the vessel for the idea.

Notice something important here: you do not need to transform into a better human being to be a strong messenger. Some of the kindest performers on stage are difficult people in real life. Likewise, some unpleasant people can be brilliant on stage because they know how to embody a message.

You are not required to fix your personality. You are required to learn a skill. And unlike mastering Hollywood-level acting, becoming an excellent messenger in your profession or field is absolutely achievable in a short period of time.

Signal vs. Noise

In communication theory, there are only two elements:

• Signal: The message

• Noise: Everything that interferes with the message

In public speaking, the signal is your idea. The noise is your ego:

• “Do they like me?”

• “I am sweating!”

• "I forgot what I wanted to say!”

• “I am terrible at this!”

• “Everyone can see I am failing!”

That entire mental storm is noise. The more attention you give it, the weaker your signal becomes.

I have never met a performer without noise. I still sweat. I still wonder what an audience thinks of me. Sometimes I forget my lines. The difference now is that I no longer feed those thoughts. I give my attention to the message, because that is the job.

Crafting the Message vs. Becoming the Messenger

When I coach clients, we work on two separate milestones:

1. Build the Message

2. Prepare the Messenger

They are distinct. The message must be finished at a certain point. After that, the work shifts entirely to you as the messenger.

On stage, you are no longer the creator of the message. You are its carrier. Your personal worries do not matter anymore. The message does.

The ancient Greeks understood this and even made a god for performance: Dionysus (Bacchus for the Romans). They believed that when a performer stepped into their role, something sacred happened. The person disappeared, and the message took over. That is your goal.

Focusing on the Signal

I have delivered weak performances, both in comedy and at work, that people still enjoyed. Why? Because I stayed committed to the story and refused to indulge the noise.

When you step on stage, it is not about:

• whether they like you

• whether you look smart

• whether your voice shakes

It is about transmitting the message with as little interference as possible. The better you are as a messenger, the stronger the signal and the quieter the noise.

Preparation Makes the Messenger

To become a good messenger, you must prepare for that role. There comes a moment when the work shifts from asking yourself “what am I saying” to “how am I delivering it.” This is the point where fear starts to disappear, because your attention moves away from yourself and toward the message.

If you spend your energy worrying about how you will be perceived, you are not focused on the task. The task is not to impress anyone. The task is to deliver the message with clarity and intention.

Preparation is what allows you to do that. It gives you control over the things that matter and frees you from the noise of ego and self doubt. Once you understand this, fear loses most of its power because you know exactly what you are there to do.

In my courses, you learn how to:

• craft a compelling message

• prepare yourself to be the messenger that message deserves

I know what it takes to become a confident messenger, and I will guide you through each step of the process. If you want to learn how to do both, book a call with Ben.