How to Stay Calm During Public Speaking When Everything Feels Out of Control

Public speaking feels out of control because almost everything involved is actually out of your control. This truth is the key to becoming calm on stage. Once you focus on what you truly control, you can even start to crave the thrill of speaking in public.

The Audience Is Not Under Your Control

You cannot force people to react in a certain way. You can learn techniques that influence an audience but they still choose how they feel and respond.

Your Own Body Is Not Even Under Your Control

Your body often betrays you on stage:

• your cheeks get red

• your hands shake

• your voice trembles

• you forget what you wanted to say

• you become strangely unable to answer simple questions

They are not signs of weakness. They are signs that your body is reacting to something it views as risky.

Even Your Output Is Not Fully Controlled

This part annoys perfectionists the most.

Ask yourself: are you ever completely satisfied with your final result? You do not control the emotional satisfaction you get from your work. You can deliver something the world loves and still walk off stage thinking you could have done better.

Public Speaking Feels Dangerous for a Reason

The risks feel high. No one wants to look foolish. A failed presentation can leave you isolated. People physically avoid you after a bad performance because they do not want to be associated with the shame.

Why Listen to Any of This?

Because here is the great news: when you pour your energy into what you control, everything you do not control often improves on its own. The paradox is powerful.

This is how influence actually works.

The Trap of Trying to Control Everything

When you obsess over things you do not control, you waste energy that should go toward your message and your delivery.

The work is preparing the message and preparing yourself to deliver it.

Focus on the Work, Not the Outcome

When I prepare a comedy routine or a business presentation, I focus entirely on writing and producing it. I do not waste time worrying whether I will like it. I also do not worry whether others will like it, because oddly enough, when I stop obsessing over that, they usually do.

The same applies to public speaking. Prepare what you can control, accept what you cannot, that is where calm begins.

Preparation Is the Path to Calm

Being a good speaker is hard work. There is no magic that makes the audience obey. There is only the task in front of you.

Once you understand what the real work is, you can finally start doing it. Fear loses its power because you are focused on what matters.

At Crave Speaking, we teach you what you control when crafting your message and how to prepare yourself to be the messenger on stage. If you want to learn more, book a call with Ben.